The Day Job: InterNetTion

So, you’ve been slaving over your writing for weeks on end, isolating yourself in your writer’s garret, awash in the miasma of tossed away drafts and abandoned ideas. You know it’s time to get out and renew your creative engines, but the next convention is weeks away, or maybe you’ve never been to a convention and have no idea why you should go.

Never fear, the first and ongoing InterNetTion is taking place on any Internet-connected computer near you. There’s no reason to feel alone anymore. Inspiration, good conversation, and the general silliness that makes conventions so much fun are around the corner.

One of the primary reasons for going to a convention is the opportunity to listen to writers you admire. It’s not that professional writers are all that different, but they have an aura of authority about them that makes their announcements and observations carry weight. So, a quick tour of the Internet can give you a quality Harlan Ellison rant on why writers should be paid, a leisurely chat from Connie Willis on her career and some of her books, a conversation with Jay Lake on his writing, an audio interview with Gene Wolfe, wise words from Elizabeth Moon or Lois McMaster Bujold, and an interesting musing from Spider Robinson about writing Double Star from Robert Heinlein’s beginning.

One of the outstanding advantages of attending InterNetTion is that the authors you listen to don’t actually have to be among the living. Here’s your chance to learn from Robert Heinlein, Arthur C. Clarke, and Isaac Asimov themselves. How cool is that?

Of course, listening to the masters is a small part of a convention’s attractions. When you tire of sitting in crowded rooms, taking notes from your favorite authors (and wishing that the loudmouthed dweeb in the audience who thinks he should have been on the panel would shut up, which won’t happen at InterNetTion), you can wander into the art show for visual stimulation. InterNetTion’s art show is incomparable. A few of our visiting artists include Michael Whelan, Janny Wurts, Alan M. Clarke, Frank Wu, Frank Frazetta, and many others.

Many conventions give writers the opportunity to workshop their stories. InterNetTion suggests Critters, an online workshopping community. Why limit your workshopping to a single weekend in the real world? You can find feedback all year.

We also offer opportunities for quick writing lessons. Try our seminar on Finding the Time to Write, or How to Write the Great American Novel. We also offer a short demonstration of the proper way to Respond to Rejection.

If you’re looking for a break from walking about at InterNetTion (metaphorically, since you’re just sitting at your computer), you can drop into the movie programming. Right now, we’re playing the Firefly gag reel. Later we’ll show the full version of the 1922 classic, Nosferatu. If you like your movie experiences to go a little more quickly, check out the 30-second long version of King Kong. For folks who never want to leave the movie room, stay for our extended showing of all the episodes of Firefly. You also have the option of watching episodes of Buffy or Battlestar Gallactica as we focus on television film.

No convention would be complete without a masquerade, and we aim to please. The masquerade competition is impossible to explain to non-convention attendees, by the way. So are hallway costumes.

Filk provides another con diversion. Although filk is hard to define, you know it when you hear it.

Although we can’t quite offer face-to-face conversation, and drinking in the bar will strictly be limited by what you have in your own liquor cabinet, it is possible to chat with other science fiction and fantasy fans.

Oh, and to complete your convention experience, you need a 3 X 5 card that you can run through your printer. Print your name on it with a font that is just a shade too small to be read comfortably from four feet away, or use a color that blends into the background color of the card, thereby also making it unreadable, and then hang it from a lanyard around your neck. Whenever you are partaking in InterNetTion’s programming, be sure to wear your homemade ID badge.