Bad-Ass Faeries 2: Just Plain Bad, edited by Danielle Ackley-McPhail et al.

Just Plain Bad is the second installment of the Bad Ass Fairies collection edited by Danielle Ackley-McPhail, L. Jagi Lamplighter, Lee Hillman, and Jeff Lyman and published by Marrietta Publishing. The theme of the Bad Ass Fairies anthologies is nothing but fairies, in all forms and walks of life. I understand that the editors plan to make this a recurrent bad habit, probably each May with the return of Spring, but I guess that’s not such a bad thing. As with the first volume, Just Plain Bad is twenty tales broken into themed sections like “Rebal Fae” and “Rogue Fae.” Overall, I found this anthology to be an excellent summer read.

The first offering, “Way of the Bone” by James Chambers, is a dark tale of passion and power among the fae. Gorge is a fae exiled from the fairy court for his radical views, living his life among humans in the guise of a rock star. He has crafted a grand spell with his music that will destroy the land of the fae beyond the veil and prepares to release his doomsday magic during a concert. But the fae have gotten wind of his plans and try to counter him. What results is a wild battle of magic fought on the concert stage, with a surprise ending as the music reaches its climax. This is a fine opener for the anthology, driven by the unfettered passions and lusts for power of the players.

“Moonshine” by Bernie Mojzes is a way overlong tale of fae plots to use humans as a path to power in the fairy court. Set during Prohibition, a fae introduces speakeasies to a fairy brew both wildly intoxicating and intensely addictive. Their plan is to bleed the humans for whatever they can. But Tom, a local mover within the liquor business, soon learns his business partner’s true nature. What follows is a long cycle of rising violence and madness as the fae match muscle with the mob over control of the liquor trade. And in the end, deus ex machina style, Tom stumbles upon powerful magic to defeat the fae and end the threat. While colorful and imaginative, the tale meanders until it ends abruptly without really resolving the purpose behind the fae plot.

“Party Crashers” by Trisha Wooldridge and Christy Tohara, concerning a rebel fae turned international jewel thief and terrorist, is a nice change of pace. The fae uses his magic to control guards and victims as he purloins their valuables. But the incursion of these sorts of criminals has led to the creation of the Ghost Guard, supernatural warriors charged with tracking and catching these supernatural criminals. And so the tale goes, a fine action-adventure story, as Cameron and his Ghost Warrior Team stake out the dark fae’s next target, a rich society gathering, and then engage the fae in a running battle of wits and gunfire.

“The Reality Division” by Christopher Sirmons Haviland is a convoluted tale wherein Bobby awakes from a coma, only to find he can see the various fae and other supernaturals among us. Of course the fae object, even though Bobby is taken to be barking mad by his doctors. But then the different fae groups begin to use him as a pawn in their own power plays, and all hell breaks loose in the human world, as the veil between the human and fairy worlds begins to fade, confronting the human world in general with the real world. Bobby saves the day, but with a somewhat pat and unsatisfying response that returns all to the status quo.

“Of Plunder and Soul: The Rescue of Mr. Spaghetti” by editor L. Jagi Lamplighter is a long tale that starts off derivative, a kind of Pirates of the Caribbean meet Captain Hook and the Lost Boys, only here, the pirates are a kind of nautical fae stealing boys and leaving changelings in their place. The story picks up the pace when Clara realizes her own son has been stolen, and the impaired child she is raising is a changeling. She sets off on a mission to find him with the help of a fairy law enforcement official, and then the action really takes off. In the end, she must make a major choice for herself, her captive son, and all the other stolen children.

“A Clear-Cut Choice” by Elaine Corvidae is another derivative tale, this time where Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson are female half-blood fae operating a detective consulting service in old London. A young wage slave seeks the detective’s help in solving the bloody murder of her man, which sets us off on a wild chase through the dark and foggy streets of London in search of a supernatural serial killer. In classic Conan Doyle fashion, the great detective solves the mystery and puts an end to the killer through deductive reasoning.

“Bad Clown” by D.C. Wilson is another change of pace about the machinations of the courts of the dark and light fae. They’ve been stalemated for centuries, neither side able to gain a decisive advantage in their interminable war. And then a mighty icon of magic reappears in the collection of a rich human. In the race to seize the prize, Lief and his band of outcast supernaturals get drawn into the contest. A motley crew of dwarfs, trolls, and other castoffs of the fae courts, they travel the land as a carnival of freaks and geeks. And in the end, Lief must decide: does he seize the icon for his rulers and claim the reward, perhaps tipping the balance of power disastrously, or does he reject the reward and keep the balance intact for the sake of all? His solution is a nice surprise.

Whiskey Sour” by Skyla Dawn Cameron is an exciting action tale of a part fae woman who specializing in retrieving lost magical items. But when a man hires her to retrieve a powerful item from another fae, and turns her into a werewolf in the process, the story takes off. In the end, she turns the tables on them all and asserts her own strength.

“Zwischenzug: A Pennidreadful Tale” by Lorne Dixon is another tale of the ossuary fae Pennidreadful and her human partner Vassili from the first anthology. This time Pennidreadful and Vassili are confronted by a mobster cousin of Vassili who turns on Vassili. Penni must come to the rescue but in the process runs up against a wild fae. Sadly, the tale just runs out of steam, the main story arc unfinished, when the tale ends. Most unsatisfying really.

“Pixie Dust” by Steven Earl Yoder is a dark horror tale wherein a young fae finds herself beset by a gang of violent supernatural thugs. They have already maimed her for cheap thrills and have vowed to do worse. She turns to a voodoo priest for magic to protect herself but is tricked into acting against her true nature. And as she finds herself trapped and transformed, she realizes the folly of her own self-betrayal. In this collection, this is the darkest, and bleakest, of the stories.

“Bottle-Caps and Cigarette Butts” by Bernie Mojzes is a long, unfocused tale that starts with the premise that fae, long sundered from forest and fen by modern development, have evolved to blend into the modern urban landscape. When a young man discovers them, they revert to their old ways of baiting and tormenting humans. And so our hero must match wits with these new urban fae in a life and death struggle for himself and his own.

“Do You Believe?” by C.J. Henderson is a long, shaggy-dog story about a group of friends drinking and trading lies at an inter-dimensional tavern. The Irishman Darby launches into a long, convoluted tale about tiny fairies that ride and herd cockroaches, much like the Plains Indians with their horses. As he has a receptive (and gullible) audience, he spins a long yarn about this tribe, their history and culture. And as you would expect with a good Irishman with drinks flowing, there is plenty of blarney mixed in. The final reveal of Darby’s tale is a gem, making the whole journey worth our while.

“Final Stand” by Brian Koscienski and Chris Pisano is an odd switch from the other tales in this anthology, more about the impact humans have on the fae than the other way around. The human world has been conquered and enslaved by the fae, who have burst upon Earth from across the veil with magic weapons, armies of trolls and dragons, and heartless intent. Humans now are little more than slaves for use and abuse however their fae masters choose. This tale opens as one man is thrown into the ring with a fae opponent much like the gladiators of Rome. He knows he has no chance against the fae, even if his opponent would agree to a fair fight. So he takes a stand against his abuse, to prove which race is morally superior. A very nice, if dark, tale, with no real happy endings anywhere.

“Within The Guardian Bell” by editor Danielle Ackley-McPhail is another continuation from the first anthology. Lance the half-fae biker who defeated the will of the fairy court in the first anthology is targeted for revenge by the fae. Supernatural hit-things stalk him while he goes about his business unaware. And then they strike after stripping him of his only magical protection, a tiny silver bell. But when the battle is finally joined, Lance shows why he is the club leader, displaying ingenuity and balls.

“The Seelie Seven” by editor Lee C. Hillman is another derivative tale modeled after the Lee Marvin movie, The Dirty Dozen. The Sergeant-Major here is a tiny garden fae with the disposition of a pit bull, with a drafted squad of supernatural prisoners convicted of various crimes by the Seelie Court of the light fae. Their mission is to retrieve a magical icon stolen from the Queen by the Unseelie Court of the dark fae. Much like Lee Marvin and his squad of convict commandos, the sergeant-major and his team infiltrate the dark fae headquarters and strike. Battle is joined! Surprises, reversals, and brave action abound. And betrayals occur, the team members not being chosen for their virtue. A nice action tale with plenty of twists and turns.

I initially tagged “REPOstilzkin” by James Daniel Ross as yet another derivative of the children’s tale, “Rumpelstiltskin,” but was pleasantly surprised. This is more of a continuation of that. Here, teenaged Sam is retrieved by a dwarf collector in accordance with the contractor his barren parents entered into so they could have a child. However, they failed to abide by the terms of the contract, and the dwarf is taking Sam as payment. But this dwarf fellow has a busy schedule, so he takes Sam along as he goes from house to house, retrieving his employer’s due per the contracts the adults signed to gain wealth, athletic prowess, or beauty for themselves and their children. And just like in the original, each parent has the right to negate the contract if they can state the dwarf’s name. Of course they can’t, and lives are ruined in serial fashion as Sam watches..

“Shadowcutting” by Jason Franks and Steven Mangold is a dark, disjointed tale of the supernatural bounty hunter Theo (think of the TV show Dog the Bounty Hunter) as he attempts to earn a living retrieving escapees and lost items for his clients even as his rivals plot and connive to beat him to the prize. Theo is an old-fashioned hunter, relying on strength, speed, and a sharp sword, but finds modern times are passing him by, even among the supernatural folks. So he tries a magical weapons upgrade, a shadowsteel blade, and seems to have made a good choice. But there are plots within plots at work here, and Theo (not the brightest bulb on the string) fails to see his own peril even as it stares him in the face. His end arrives rather predictably.

“Loophole” by Phil Brucato is the most original tale of the collection, a legal thriller wherein Gino the lawyer finds himself in peril because of his contract with Sal, an unsavory fae godfather. Gino borrowed money from Sal to open his law firm and became Sal’s go-to guy when his friends ran into legal problems. But Gino finds a conscience and tries to back out of the deal. Complicating this is the fact that Gino’s former law partner has embezzled all of the firm’s assets, leaving Gino unable to buy out his contract. This is more a legal mystery than an action adventure tale, so Gino’s answer to his dilemma, as well as his vengeance against his former partner, is born of smart thinking rather than brawn or bravery. The ending is a nice surprise, wrapping up all the threads in one fell swoop.

“Twilight Crossing” by award-winning author John Passarella is another mystery tale with a surprise ending. Ray is a bouncer at a little corner tavern when young yuppie Kevin walks in. All seems normal until three fae warriors from the queen’s court burst in, intent on killing Kevin. Confusion reins, as they insist Kevin is a fugitive from the fairy court with a large bounty on his head. And we soon learn all is not as it seems for Kevin or Ray, as they each learn they are not who they thought they were. Plots and counterplots of the fae courts are revealed, with both men hopelessly tangled therein. A nice adventure unfolds from there with surprises all along the way.

“Grim Necessity” by editor Jeffery Lyman is another odd tale, this time set in the San Quentin of the fairy world. Guards Featherlight and Remy both can sense that the prisoners have a plot afoot, a grand escape plan for the meanest and worst of their charges. And despite their best efforts to discover the plan, chaos breaks loose, and the prisoners are free within the prison. But there is more to the plan than a simple escape. Remy is the target of a murder plot as well and seems to fall victim to it. But there is also more to Remy than we first see. In the end, his true nature is a surprise that saves the day. Convoluted and gritty, this is one of the best stories in the collection.

Overall, Just Plain Bad is a wonderful collection well worth your time as you lounge poolside or bake at the beach this summer. I highly recommend this anthology to you. Until next time, enjoy!

Publisher: Marietta Publishing (May 2008)
Price: $14.04
Paperback: 284 pages
ISBN: 1892669463