Dog Versus Sandwich, May 2008

The May, 2008, stories of Dog Versus Sandwich begin with “The Five Stages of Beef” by Peter Parrish. Jimmy must get home to his girlfriend, but he has a large problem: a cow has wandered onto the road, and he can’t pass. Getting out of his car, he engages in a maddening battle of rhetoric with the talking cow. Finally, after much discourse, the bovine allows him to be on his way.

What makes this story work initially is Parrish’s wry tone, not only in the dialogue but in the narrative as well. Of course, this is the sort of tale where the ending will either make it shine or fall flat. Fortunately, the ending shines. A shift of point of view is required at the end, which bothered me a bit, but it was the only way to pull off the dénouement—an ending that makes a story about a talking cow most logical despite its illogic.

The next offering is a short flash piece by Matt Shaner, “Casting.” The narrator gives his first-person account of he and his father flying to Texas, renting a car, and then going on a fishing trip. They fish, catch a few, and then go have dinner. There is a scene at the end where the son goes outside the motel room and contemplates these visits, their “chance to heal,” but something is missing from this story. For one, I assumed that Dog Versus Sandwich was a speculative fiction ‘zine, and I couldn’t find any trace of the fantastic here. That doesn’t invalidate it as a piece of fiction; it just made me wonder. There is a poignancy to “Casting,” as the emotion comes through despite the dick-jane narrative style, that did warm me. The problem is that I didn’t really get to meet these two people as the story was over so quickly.

Returning author Katy Wimhurst tells a fable of sorts in “Calmer Karma.” Volverang, leader of the notorious Belzamine wolf pack, tries to convince his young protégé, Killer, not to convert to Buddhism. Of course we wouldn’t have a story if the young wolf listened to the older one, so soon, Killer is excommunicated from the pack and sent on his way. Another flash piece—this one of 630 words—while there are no surprises or revelation at the end, this is an enjoyable enough romp.

For the “issues” of Dog Versus Sandwich that I’ve read and reviewed, most of the stories published have been fairly short, many of them flash fiction, but Leah O’Hearn’s “Ariadne and the Vine”, at 6,200 words, is the longest story editor Ben Payne has published. In this final offering for the month of May, Ariadne is on a tropical isle where her boyfriend, the love of her life, has just dumped her to run off with his new fiancée. Beside herself with anguish, Ariadne drinks from a bottle of wine that magically transports her to Nice, France, where she meets up with India, a young woman who has romance problems of her own. From there they drink of the bottle and embark on a journey through time and space, first to Mount Vesuvius.

While not without it’s structural problems, this is an emotion-packed tale. The dialogue seems a bit forced at times to provide infodump, but I imagine that can be justified by the consumption of alcohol throughout. The fantastic method of travel also feels like rabbits pulled a bit too freely from the convenient storytelling hat, but this is a tale of fantasy. The conclusion is chilling, however, and, unlike so much fiction today where the protagonist seems to learn naught, Ariadne finds an answer to her predicament with love and more. Though I felt this story was too long for the little that happens in it—and despite its length the arrival to the conclusion seems rushed—the dénouement was satisfying and apt.