The Town Drunk, February 2008

“The Curse of the Friendly Forest” by Rod M. Santos leads off the February, 2008, issue of The Town Drunk. Sir Duncan enters the Forest of Friendliness hoping to win the favor of the Bright Lady. He needs her help to escape the wrath of The Dark Night who’s out to settle an old score. But after they meet, Sir Duncan isn’t sure she’ll be able to offer much help.

“Welcome to my home, The Forest of Friendliness, and may peace track you down like a hunter, run you through with the spear of Tranquility, and skin you for a fuzzy cloak that warms the soul with Love.”

In the tradition of Paris Hilton, Lindsay Lohan, and Britney Spears, The Bright Lady works her magic, leaving Sir Duncan and the Dark Knight wondering which is worse: death or an eternity in the Friendly Forest.

Santos combines double entendre and clever word play in an irresistible spoof.

In contrast, “Gimpbomb Enters Room” by Matthew Bey isn’t subtle. High on the profanity factor, this story isn’t for everyone. Leave it to the advertising industry to figure out a way to ruin the mood. Even if you are a pervert.

The language and cybersex neither bothered nor amused me. But what Gimpbomb threatens to do in frustration rang the bell on my poor taste meter. The timing of this, about two weeks after the campus shooting in Illinois and about two months before the anniversary of the Virginia Tech massacre, isn’t great.